what does "friend" mean to you?

I guess maybe I'm feeling a bit introspective and sappy since I woke up feeling flu-like this morning in addition to the ongoing sinus infection. I'm not feeling the best and am not in the best of moods, so I wasn't going to post. But maybe I should.

I'm doing some work from home with Joshua Redman in the background. He's typically too much on the "smooth jazz" side for me, but a friend was his high school music teacher, and besides, he's a heckuva sax player. and it made me think of home, not only due to this friend, but because Mr. Redman's playing style is much like the guy who taught me how to play sax, in California.

I was supposed to fly to CA today. I have a car that's much more fuel-efficient at my mom's house, which we never got around to bringing up here. I postponed the trip because I didn't want to fly with a sinus infection. But also, I wasn't thrilled to go. Everyone experiences this. You move away from home, you lose touch, things aren't the same.

And now, on to the friend-related issue that's really weighing on me. One anonymous friend and I have been working on a music project, with him in charge. I've offered help and support, and for the most part, he's taken me up on it. I've also offered some unsolicited opinions about the plans being too bold/not conservative enough/not doable in our time frame. He'd always laugh it off and say, "it'll all work out." Well... deadline is fast approaching. And guess what -- the group is not on the plan time-schedule. Since I care about the group, the last thing I'm doing is "I told you so". That's just not right. But suddenly, my offers of help are refused. "I don't need your help" is the message I get. Things just haven't been the same between this friend and me, for the past few weeks. I'm trying to stay in the background to see where things end up, but I don't want to kill the friendship. I hope not to have to quit this band.

My head hurts...